Calling All Angels

I have heard two songs that are significant to me today. Both happen to have "angel" in title. On the drive home from work I heard "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan. That song was and is very powerful to me. You see friend, when my Dad passed away I couldn't go anywhere without hearing that song. At work (I worked at a radio station at the time), in my own home and mostly in the car. After my Dad died, we spend a lot of time at the lawyer's office making sure that his estate was settled. I would hear it on almost every drive. I'd hear it at work at have to retreat to the production studio lest my sobs of sorrow be seen or heard by anyone else. I don't usually listen to it intentionally, save for the date that my Dad died. I still struggle with it. More than I thought I would. I was only 25 at the time and my Dad's death was sudden. I couldn't have been more shocked. He was only 58. There has been so much that has happened since that time. I got married, my brother has had another son, I got my post-graduate degree. We've lost my Grandma Dorothe. Dan has gone to and finished school.

One thing that continues to bother me is that Dan didn't get the chance to get to know my Dad. Our relationship was just beginning. It also bothers me that my nieces and nephews will never in this life get to know their Grandpa Mike. I really miss my Dad. It bothers me that I haven't had the opportunity to share my successes and failures with him. I will live the majority of my life without him around. Sometimes I dream about him, once in a great while I do. I believe that means that he is trying to tell me something. I wish I would open my subconcious mind more to allow that to happen with greater frequency. When I dream about him, it doesn't make me feel empty. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel connected to him.

The other song I heard was "Calling all Angels" by Jane Siberry and kd lang. It is significant because today is Pearl Harbor Day. My Grandfather JT was in the Coast Guard at the time. I am not very clear on the story, but I think it goes something like this. JT was on leave in Chicago visiting Dorothe shortly before the attack on Pearl Harbor. Apparently, he was so much in love with Dorothe that he didn't want to leave just yet. Dorothe's father knew people who knew people. JT's leave was extended, thus he was not at Pearl Harbor with his ship. I don't know if the story is accurate. But I like to think that it is. I know that JT must have struggled with it. I understand that his ship went down and that he would comment on it around Pearl Harbor Day for years afterward. At any rate, JT and Dorothe's whole story is intriguing to me. From how they met to the events of their courtship and happily ever after.

Dan and I were married at the place where my Grandparents spent their honeymoon (as did my Uncle Joe and Aunt Maureen) it was very special for me. The cool thing about it was that my Mom and the Aunts presented me with the bill from my Granparents' stay at the hotel. Awesome. Great too that Dorothe was there to see it all.