I Will Not Take My Hat Off to Rutgers

So yes, Rutgers is for real. But I will not take my hat off to them. I am a Louisville Cardinals fan. Any hat that I have on is staying on. ESPN man, you go ahead and take your hat off to Rutgers. I'll only make my hat fit a little tighter.

I will also not take my hat off to any team that beats the Blues... I'd have to take my hat off a lot if that were the case. I will especially not take my hat off to the Detroit Red Wings. That would be like taking my hat off to the CCCP.

I will not take my hat off to Budweiser. That would also be like taking my hat off to the CCCP.

I will not take my hat off to the Chicago Bears. That would also be like taking my hat of the the CCCP.

I will not take my hat off to day light savings time. I don't like it.

I will not take my hat off to buffalo wings with anything but bleu cheese dressing. It's just not right.

I will not likely take my hat off to any new version of Van Halen. You'll likely have to pull it off of my head.