Halloween is Dumb

I think that Halloween is dumb. I never liked it. I think that the idea of kids dressing up and going door to door asking for candy from people that they would never normally talk to the other 364 days in a years is silly. I didn't like the idea when I was a kid and I don't like it now. Why go "ask your neighbor" for candy? Isn't that what Grandmas are for?

It's a Little Cold to Golf

It's a little cold to golf, but we did it anyhow. Yesterday morning, there we were out in the wind. Maple leaves as big as your head whipping by and lost golf balls, but hey we were there.

Yesterday was the first time I got really mad while I was golfing. I was like Ted Knight in Caddy Shack. Horrible display of behavior. It wasn't because I was doing bad. I am used to doing bad. It's that I was second guessing myself.

Enough about it already.

We also watched the Badgers come back to beat Illinois... SWEET.

Then shopping, first shoes, then who knows what else, Pier 1, Best Buy. It's ridiculous to pay $80 for an alarm clock, even if it does play CDs, has the sounds of nature and has a sensor that dims the display. $80 is ridiculous. So I didn't get it and still have no real deal alarm clock.

I am watching Laguna Beach. Don't ask why. I just watch it. Funny, shouldn't I have had enough of high school drama about 15 years ago? Not drama like this honey. This is drama with a big capital D. My, aren't the beautiful, rich and chosen ones of Orange County grown up? If this is the direction of today's youth, we'll have to watch out for the leaders of tomorrow. They'll give you a Cali kiss on the cheek, fake hug and then twist the knife. I am so glad that Social Security will already be a thing of the past when I retire so that I don't have to wait for one of these cats to take it away from me.

Someone I Almost Never Knew that I Had

A few years ago, my Grandma Dorothe was very sick. She was diagnosed with lung cancer and held on somehow for a few years. I am not sure how but she did. I adored my Grandmother. I still do. I don't know that all of the nice adjectives in the dictionary would even begin to describe her.

I did everything that I could to see her as often as I could. Dan and I often made the trip from Wisconsin to Louisville to see her on a weekend. Leave Friday after work and come home on Sunday.

My Grandma taught me that people are important. Not only family but people count, people matter. It's not what you say, but rather what you do. She was a loving, accepting and forgiving person. She had nine children, over 20 grandchildren, a few great-grand children and so many others that loved her. With all those folks that she loved, she could still make you feel like you were the only person in the world.

I see now that through my Grandmother's sickness and death that even though I lost her, I found another family member that has come to mean a tremendous amount to me.

Grandma had a cousin that she was very close with who passed away before Grandma did. Dorothe being who she was, she kept in touch with Ilene's husband and children. I heard Grandma talk about her cousin's family but I don't think that we had met until she became sick herself.

I first met Marybeth and her brother John at my Grandma's house. I was a little nervous and maybe even a tad jealous, but I knew that my Grandma loved her cousin and her cousin's children very much.

In Dorothe's passing and during our mourning, I came to know Marybeth. How lucky for me. I am so glad that she is a part of our family. Things happen for weird reasons, I see that God saw it fit to bring us together at that point. I feel a strong tie to my Grandma through her.

Marybeth lost her Grandmother yesterday. I know the horrible feeling of losing someone that you love. Grandmas are special. I wish that I was there, to hear the stories that get told, to hold hands and give hugs. Perhaps Marybeth will come across someone that she almost never knew that she had the way that I did when I met her.

Ready to Sleep

I am ready to sleep. To sleep all the way through the night. Without waking up with the sweats. Every night I wake up sweating so badly, as a friend put it "like I had just run a marathon." It's terrible. The whole shootin' match is soaked. Sheets, pillow comforter and cold. Shouldn't I be waking up before it gets to that point? One friend told me it meant that deep down something was really gnawing at me. Another friend told me it could have to do with "the change" but that I was too young for that... but I should talk to my doctor. Guess it depends on who you ask. I suppose at this time it could be either or... we'll see.

I Hate the Idea of Getting Older

I hate the idea of getting older and I will be the first to admit it. I don't like being 33 and there isn't much hope in thinking that 34 will look any better. I don't know if it is vanity, fear or ignorance. Some of it may be that I live in a rural area, which I really do love 95% of the time, but I think that the other 5% of the time it would be fun to just walk out your front door and head out into the night. I used to be a night person, I used to be the one who didn't get really ready to rock until 10 or 11. Those days are gone. Responsibility continues to grow and loom while youth grows smaller in the rearview mirror. I know at 33 I have plenty of good years left in me, it's not that. I am not sure what it is. Maybe it's regret. I never thought of it and I never thought I would regret some of the decisions I've made. But I can't think of what else it might be. It's that I think that time is the one thing that I have plenty of and really it is the most precious possesion that I have, because I own it. It's mine. I can choose to spend it how I want. I guess I just need to spend more wisely.

Didn't Have Any Chocolate Last Night...

... instead I had two beers (Dan only had one) and we danced in the living room to music that was cool when we were in school. Now here it is, Thursday night. The kids are getting ready to go out in like three hours and I will be turning in for bed.

We're wathcing the Cardinals and the Mets... hopefully the Cardinals can pull it off.

In other news, on account of I owe everyone, we are having Thanksgiving at our house this year. I am dang happy to do it, too. I am way excited to have our family and the extensions there of at our home. It's cool to be planning and getting it all together. Plus, other people will be bringing pies!

Now here they are on TV talking about how baseball players don't wear stirrup socks anymore. That's a dang shame people. That's part of what made baseball uniforms unique. Let me ask you this. How come it is acceptable for players and coaches in other sports to wear baseball caps, but you really don't see baseball coaches wearing football helmets?

Ode to Chocolate

If I have to tell you about chocolate then it may already be too late for you. If you are ready to hear all about it, then grab a bar and maybe even some peanut butter as well. Chocolate is good, good for you and who cares about what else? I am talking about good chocolate, I have become a chocolate snob. I like dark chocolate or European milk chocolate. American chocolate is entirely too sweet. It is way overloaded with sugar and takes away all of the great qualities of what we were meant to enjoy. The chocolate that God gave us to get all crazy about. Might have to have some myself right now.

Laughter

Laughter is not only the best medicine, it's probably my favorite expression of emotion. I like to hear people laugh. I like to make people laugh.

Tonight I was on the phone with a friend. I got a few laughs out of her. I liked that. I liked how it sounded coming through the phone and knowing that a few hours away my friend was smiling and putting down her copy of the Oprah magazine just for a few minutes while we were talking.

I also like to laugh a bit myself. Here's what makes me laugh lately:

• Anything that my nephew Jaxon says
• The commercials that I have seen for Mr. T's new show
• My friend Mike (Actually Mike has made me laugh for years, he's a very funny man... and brilliant too. He breaks things down to what they really are... what's worth worrying about, what isn't)
• People who try to drive aggressively but can't really do it... I'm not Broad Street Bully, but I know how to drive
• Cartoons (the funny kind, not all this weird dramatic anime, let's have a story line and a plot to a cartoon)
• Myself (can't take myself too seriously sometimes, I gotta think about some of the dumb things I've done, intentionally or not)

Remember to laugh once in awhile...

Interesting Weekend

Well, maybe not entirely... even though I was busy most of Saturday (and so was Dan), I still made the most of socializing time. We spent Saturday night with our friends Paul and Nichole to celebrate her birthday. A good time... hope that they had a good time too.

This morning my friend Jenney called at 8:30 to let me know she was coming for a visit. When we got home from church, Jenney was in the living room, taken a tour and finished our dishes... that's an old friend for you. I have known Jenney for over 20 years. Kind of a crazy thought... but I have known her since we were 12.

Then later on this evening, Rhonda came over and we played a few more songs. She is fairly patient. She is a much better musician than I am. She has real skills and talent. Hopefully we can really get a band thing happening. Only fun music... nothing dreary and not fun.

Finishing up Sunday night with watching the Cardinals and the Mets. Not looking very good for the Cardinals. It does look good for the Mets though. Wish it weren't the case. I want the Cardinals to get to the World Series... not the Mets. Cardinals rule, Mets are not cool.

Snow on the Roof

It snowed today. When I left the house for work today, there was snow on the roof. When I left work this evening, it was snowing. We had no accumulation. Still, Thanksgiving is a long ways off and it was snowing. I suppose that it is the middle of October, but come on. This is silly.

On TV they are complaining about rain at Shea Stadium. Rain my eye. I am talking about snow. You can't go to a baseball game in October in New York City and whine about it. It is going to be cold. So there.

I have thin blood. I am always cold. I was my hands to feel warm. Now I am sleepy.

Should I Make You Read a Post That Has No Prime Rib?

I am having a hard time getting started here tonight, so do I make you read an entry that doesn't have anything... all filler and no killer?

I guess to make myself happy I can list the things that I am looking forward to...

• Mr. T's new show ("that was two fools", "because there's fools to pity in every city")
• A full night's sleep (if not tonight, maybe Thursday night, if not Thursday night, then Friday night, if not Friday night, then Saturday night... I'll get there)
• Paul's rock show on Halloween
• Maybe a visit from a friend?
• The Badger Game on November 18th
• Thanksgiving
• Maybe a pet? Fish at the very least if nothing fuzzy or furry
• New furniture... hopefully before Thanksgiving
• How about a hockey game? But where? What time zone? Maybe just up the road... or down the road
• New socks... I need some. I am pretty rough on socks on account of my toes are so goofy
• Playing some rock and roll with my friend Rhonda on Sunday

Those are all good things to look forward to... and don't forget the pudding.

October is a Drag

The month of October can be a real drain on me. I will tell you why. Eight years ago on a Sunday night, just as we were settling in to watch the football game, my telephone rang. My Grandmother was on the other end.

She said "Annie? You better come home." I asked her why. She said "Because your Dad died."

I can't even begin to tell you what went through my mind. My Mom called while I was on the phone with her. I think I actually hung up on her. It was an absolute shock. I told my Mom. She was shocked. My parents had been divorced for a few years, yet she was still shocked.

My Mom asked me "Where? How? When?" I didn't know any of the answers. My brother Mike and his wife were in Toronto for their anniversary. My brother Jim was at school. It was about an hour before I called him... because I didn't know the answers.

I am not quite sure what time we picked Jim up. I am not quite sure what time we got to the hospital. I am not quite sure how everything went down, when and where.

I think about it a lot. Especially at this time of year... not the holidays so much. I think about all that has happened in eight years. The things that I wishe that my Dad was here for. It's a terrible feeling to be quite honest. I was only 25 when my Dad died. It hardly seems that he was around for the really good parts of my life, when I started into being who I am today.

The feelings that I felt during that first night, that first week after he died were unlike any others I ever had. I had lost people that had loved before that, but they were older and certainly not unexpected. People get older and they die.

It's figured that my Dad had at least one major heart attack that night. I spoke to him earlier that day... he didn't sound right. Did he really sound that way or do I say that now?

I say that he really didn't sound right. He sounded as though he didn't want to talk on the phone. So I said as much and said goodbye. That was about 2 or 3 that afternoon. Who would have known that it would be the last time that I ever spoke to my Dad?

He had just come to visit me the Wednesday night before. I was having some difficulty with my job and he came to talk to me. That's what I miss... having my Dad to talk to. I still do think sometimes that "I have to call Dad..." it's a good thing and a bad thing. Good because that means that I still feel close to him, bad because it doesn't take real long to remember that it isn't that easy.

That's why October is a drag.

Best Saturday Ever

Dan and I had the best Saturday ever yesterday. We were able to spend it with our nieces and nephews. Two soccer games, lunch at Culver's, a little shopping trip, Domino's Pizza, a Milwaukee Admirals game and a late night trip to Krispy Kreme. Wow My brother and sister-in-law were celebrating their anniversary so DB and I spent the day with the kids.

It was a great day. That doesn't mean that neither the children, or Dan or I did not have our moments. We did. Still I think that they will wake up today and think they had a pretty good day with us. Although I am sure that Jaxon will still remember that he was pretty darn mad for not letting him have ice cream. If you don't eat your cheeseburger, you sure can't have any ice cream, right?

Best Saturday Ever.

Thanks Guys!

The Three Dumb Things the Blues Have Done to Brett Hull and Ann

Dumb Thing #1: Take away the "C" from Brett Hull

Gave it to Wayne Gretzky who was with the Blues for a single play off run

Dumb Thing #2: Let Brett Hull go to the Dallas Stars

Need I say more?

Dumb Thing #3: Retire Hull's Jersey on a Tuesday Night

Guarantees that I won't be there. Missed Al MacInnis, told myself I won't miss #16. Boy was I wrong. I'll bet the Blues will retire #16 on a Tuesday night because they got wind that Dallas, Calgary and Detroit had something planned for Hull first. Yes, I am bitter.

I still harbor a great deal of ill will regarding how the whole thing went down with Brett Hull even though the Blues are still my team. Even though they got rid of or let guys go like Pronger, Hecht, Low, Handzus, Demitra and any other of the guys who are now All-Stars for other teams in the league. Reminds me of the Blackhawks. Remember when they had Belfour and Hasek on their roster?

Brett Hull deserves the honor no doubt about it. I wish I could be there to see it. But no. I likely won't be. I will have to watch it on televsion or something dumb like that.

banner from: http://www.stlblues.com/news/0607/060924a.html

Where Have You Gone, Eddie Van Halen?

Can anyone tell me what happened to Eddie Van Halen? This isn't how I want to remember him. My hero, the good guy of rock and roll has become some goofy old rock star. Way goofy. I don't understand. I just can't see it. I think he has just gone over the edge. My favorite band folds without incident, Eddie gone wacko. It's disappointing. How much can a fan be expected to take? I bought all of the albums... except for the waste of plastic "Best of Both Worlds," which totally ignored Van Halen 3. I've been to every concert I could possibly make it to. T-shirts? I've got a ton. Posters? Heck yes. Even a life sized stand up of the guy. I give up. Thanks Ed, but I think that it may be time for me to examine where we are at. I'll enjoy the memories. This is very painful for me to say... It might be time for us to call it quits.

http://www.apostropher.com/blog/img/scaryeddie.jpg

Sick Today

As I get older, I get sick more often. I don't care for it. I am home today because I don't want it to get worse. A few years ago, I would have gone to work. Not this time. I have learned that if I don't do something to take care of it right away that it will get worse and worse and worse. So here I am. I have already eaten a package of chili ramen noodles. Some grape juice will be on the menu and some pepperoncinis as well.

I am on the couch and watching television. I am trying hard not to think too hard. Not an easy thing for me to do while I am just sitting here. I hate just sitting here.

Kreuzened, Kreusen, Louis Shoen, Heileman Brewing

It seems that being "fully kreuzened" from a previous post has generated a bit of interest. Folks searching for "kreuzened" have stumbled upon my thoughts. Colbert Report? Still haven't seen the clip... here's what I know about "kreuzening" or "kreusining."

http://www.americanbreweriana.org/history/wausau.htm

To set the thing straight here, "kreusening" or "kreuzening" is a beer brewing carbonation process. This process was extolled by the G. (Gottleib) Heileman Brewing Company... I believe that it was Old Style that was said to be "fully kreuzened." Thus, the slang came to be that if one had imbibed too much of Wisconsin's "other" famous product (the "other" other being cheese, or sausage), that one was like the beer itself, "fully kreuzened." So you can see that something being messed up could be called "kreuzened," whether a person or a situation. You know how the song goes... "What Made Milwaukee Famous Made a Loser Out of Me." However, Old Style was for a long time brewed in LaCrosse, Wisconsin.

The term could be associated with Chicago (Dan Aykroyd) because Old Style has become the beer of the Chicago Cubs. Whatever, take it. See, it's just like our whole state, folks from Illinois knock Wisconsin and its citizens, but they can't wait to get up here every weekend and drink our beer. Whether it's Old Style or Point or Miller. I'm glad that they come, I'm glad they enjoy our fine state. Please continue to come, but please don't knock it when you really love Wisconsin. You like it, you really like it.

The Hockey Season in Upon Us

It's that time of year again. It's time for hockey. I have a few predictions to make. If you are a fan of hockey, then this might be interesting. If you're not a fan of hockey, well, you should be.

• Prediction: Chris Pronger will be traded by the Anaheim Ducks to the Detroit Red Wings. It pains me, but I think it could happen.
• Prediction: Wayne Gretzky will step down as Coach of the Phoenix Coyotes
• Prediction: The Saint Louis Blues will not have the worst record in the NHL
• Prediction: The Nashville Predators will advance to the Western Conference Finals
• Prediction: The new Milwaukee Admirals logo will still stink at the end of the season
• Prediction: Citizens of Minnesota will migrate to the New State of Hockey, Wisconsin

So there you have it, Ann's hockey predictions.

What Else Do You Do With a Ski Lift in Fall?

I will tell you what you do with it my friend. You get your three pals together and ride the thing up to the top of Rib Mountain. That is what you do with a ski lift in the midlle of fall.

I just spent the weekend in Wausau. It's a cool enough town. We had fun. The time went too fast and too far between.

With that said, there isn't much that I value more than the times like this past weekend. Time and proximity are important to me. It can seem that the two cannot really coexist. If proximity is reduced, so goes the time. I would prefer to be able to do more, to say more, to listen more.

Times like this weekend help me to grow, help me to remember what is important in life, even independent of these relationships. Times like this weekend make me marvel at what has come from the last 14 years. Beautiful, amazing, life changing things, new friends who become old friends, new little people who become new friends.

Words like "fortunate" and "blessed" begin to explain how I feel. I will always try to do my best to remember how I feel and to share those sentiments.

Thank you my friends.