I'd Like Some New Socks Please

It's bad enough that I can't wear my Chuck Taylors to work. I have to wear some creepy grown-up lady shoes. Then you have to wear these socks that are like pantyhose, only they aren't pantyhose on account of they come up to your knees. I guess they are called "trouser socks." They are called trouser socks even if a lady wears them. Interesting, isn't it? How many times to do hear them called "trousers" if a lady is wearing pants? I don't think they are called pants even. I think they are called "slacks." I hate that word... slacks. It's right up there, I tell you. So, why don't they call them "slacks socks?" At least then it would be fun to say the word, even if it isn't fun to wear them.

I hate these socks on account of I walk around all day and these socks just aren't tough enough. Just two weeks ago, I wore a pair of these socks to work, brand new ones too. They didn't last a day. After 12 hours, these socks were toast. Holes right at the big toe. I keep my toe nails trimmed, so it isn't that. These socks just don't cut it. So, in turn I go through these socks like crazy. And if you wear a pair that has holes in the toes, you run the risk of cutting off the circulation to the rest of your foot. The other thing is that where the holes are really dig into your toes and it hurts.

I'd like some new socks please.