Thinking Too Much

Have you ever thought entirely too much about the things you say and do? I have a tendency to do that... it starts out small, then becomes larger than life... until the drama that unfolds in my head becomes a big scary thing... then I become a jumble of nerves and lack the ability to stop it... then I lose faith in my own judgement and continually second guess myself. Pretty screwy, huh? Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you. A few months ago, I bought two books, one was rather spiritual and religious in nature, the other conversely antiseptic and posturingly "academic", it would probably be good for the Oprah show... (no offense to Oprah or her viewers). Well, I read the first book within two weeks... the other, I just couldn't get past the first three chapters. This is only to point out that where I thought I would find solace and explanation, I am left unsettled. Where I thought I would only find fluff, I found peace. Sometimes I look too hard for explanation, sometimes it just "is" and then I move. I have to stop rationalizing "rationalization." Sometimes feelings are just feelings.