I am pretty sure that I will be the only person interested in what I have to say... I guess I am truly jealous of anyone that has their 15 minutes of fame (read: reality television shows), but I cannot be edited by big corporations to fit their story lines. I would say or sell their products, but maybe I can get a sponsor.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
An Obsession with Guitars
So now I am obsessing on guitars. Not a bad thing to obsess about. I want to build my very own. I have one in a few pieces in the basement, but the major pieces are in a different box. Have you seen it? I am trying to procure the parts from a few different resources. Dan just told me that his favorite part of the video "Hot for Teacher" is the dancing by the band. I prefer Eddie's solo... you know, where he is walking down the library tables.
At any rate, if I get the dream guitar built, I'll post a picture.
My biggest fears are failure, death, missing out on the important things in life. I feel that an effort I give should be my best for whatever it is. Death? Well, that just sucks. Missing out the important things in life? Well, I hate having to miss a birthday party, an afternoon with Dan and the cats, visits with family, phone calls from friends.
On a happier note, I am trying to bulk up my guitar colleciton. I think I need one more. Who knew that Kramer guitars would be all the rage now?
It's one of my favorites... nothing like red hot sauce on pepperoni pizza. Right now it's getting late, and I am tired. It's not late, but it is later than it would be a few weeks ago. It's been a long few weeks. I'm not sleeping enough or well for that matter. Not eating well at all. I'd like to lose about 40 lbs... 20 would be great, but it is hard to do that when I eat later and easy... like frozen pizza with hot sauce. But alas, it is Miller Lite. That's good right? It could be High Life. I am looking forward to about two weeks from now. Time with family, to be together, to mourn and to celebrate... turn, turn, turn.
I am not sure which one it is right now... fear or adrenaline. It is whatever my mind tells my body that it is... right now, my mind is telling me it is Sunset Wheat.
We are now a two cat household. This is the beginning of week two. Betty is our "resident" cat and Natacia is the "new" cat. Both sweet cats, but they have different personalities. Betty is wild and odd and just two years old. Natacia is sweet and quiet and she is eight years old. Now we are in the "cat-to-cat" meeting phase. Everyone is trying to get used to everyone else and being in the same room... there have been a few growls and hisses... Dan and I are the only ones who have faced any threat of physical attack. If this is anything at all like brining a new baby home when you already have a toddler, I am glad that they are cats. Sometimes I wish that they could talk, but then other times I am not so sure that I want to hear it.
Here we are right now, hoping for a peaceful encounter without us... we'll see.
That's my favorite. Yellow cake with chocolate frosting. That was a great way to end 2007. My very own double layer yellow cake with chocolate frosting. It tasted even better than any other double layer yellow cake with chocolate frosting because it was made for me by someone who I respect, admire, believe in, laugh with, treasure and get crazy with. Thank you my friend.
It's hard to comprehend that we are almost a week into 2008. What in the wide world of sports happened to the year 2000? I guess Conan O'Brien knows... you know the bit.
The holidays were good. We had a scare with a family member. I'm not looking forward to what is to come. There isn't much that I can do at this point. I have to do more. For the sake of someone else's sanity. I will just say that it seems to me that during the last few years of your life, when you have put a lot of them behind you, that it seems only fair that you should be able to have some dignity.
It must be difficult enough to lose your vision, your hearing, your independence... your health. But to see someone losing themselves... to know that they don't know your name, to have the same conversations, but yet they know that they aren't going to be who they are. It makes me very angry to be honest. I am angry that it is happening. I am angry that I don't do more. I am angry that I have taken many years in my relationship with my grand-aunt for granted. I am angry that I cannot do anything. I am angry that my brother cannot do anything. A vibrant, independent, funny, caring person... she is. She is all of those things and more. I am seeing her deflate and it is painful for her.
I pray for the grace of God and his blessings during this year.
