Waiting and Anticipating

Anticipating... I think I am feeling something coming. I am not sure if it is big, little or what. I am not sure what aspect of my life it will concern; work, family, friends, something else? I just feel that a change may be coming.

The Western Edge of God's Country

So I am on the western edge of God's country, you know, Wisconsin. I am just a few miles from the Mighty Mississippi River. What a cool thing. I think one day I would like to drive clear from Bemidji to New Orleans. I'd love it. Maybe we'll do that the year after we drive out West. I am hoping that it is next year that we head West. As much as I am looking forward to the UP this summer. I am really anticipating a trip West. See, I think that the United States are too huge to spend time anyplace else. Not that I don't want to go anyplace else, but man, there's so much for me to see here. I'd love to go to Wyoming, Washington, Hawaii, Georgia, Vermont, New Mexico... then I'd love to see Ireland, Japan, Russia, Egypt. Wish I could strike it rich somehow to make all that possible.

Your Test Results are Normal

So a few days later I learn that my test results are normal. Everything is okay, except for that there are nights that I wake up sweating so horribly that you would have thought I just ran across a blazing hot bed of coals in one of those space blankets while I was holding on to some of those hot hands hand warmers and while I was on the equator. Yes, everything is just fine.

I must say that it hasn't happened in about two or three weeks, but that's how it goes. Believe me, I don't want anything to be wrong with me. I am (hopefully) not one of those people who "has that." I don't want "that." I don't want anything, let alone "that." You can insert what ever medical condition you'd like for "that."

See, when you fear dying the way that it scares me, the last thing that I want is something that would bring me anywhere closer to death, although I haven't always lived my life that way. I guess I am one of those people who wants to be in control of what kills them. The best way to die? In my sleep... I could only be so lucky. The worst way to die? Anything slow and painful whether through disease or disaster.

No sir, not looking forward to dying. Although my faith is strong, I still struggle with the death of my body. Where will life's journey take me? Fluffy clouds or hot coals? Who will I see? Will I see everyone I have ever loved? Will we all hang around together, each in our own relative dimension? Will I see my father in his office? Will he see me looking out the window of the Corvette that I never saw him in? Will my Grandma Dorothe have a truly endless supply of Chop Suey and Coca-Cola for me in her kitchen in Louisville while she looks at me from her kitchen in San Francisco? Will I meet my Great-Grandmother Nancy... will she be Nancy or Anastazya?

I Love Going to the Doctor

I Love Snow and Laundry

But who doesn't love snow and laundry? Today we ditched a bunch of snow and did some laundry. My legs are still cold and the laundry is still drying. Made some fish for the first time at home that was not fish sticks. It wasn't so bad. I'll be glad to try it again.

It's hard to think of anything else but warm weather and green when it is cold and white and gray. Summer time also means a vacation in the UP of Michigan.
I'll have some time in March too. I am looking forward to that too, I am wearing down and it wil only get crazier before then.

The White Shadow

So here it is after midnight and we are watching The White Shadow. It's a good show. You know the one that I mean. Ken Howard plays the coach of a high school basketball team. My Uncle Joe is a big fan of Ken Howard. Thinks he was great in 1776 and in The White Knight.

It's still dang cold here. It's about -10 or whatever. Who cares, when it's below 15 degrees, it's dang cold. Debating about more chips and another cold one.

I called a friend earlier tonight to tell her about a funny story that was about to happen. It was fun, not necessarily funny. Good times, good times. Just different good times.

More chips... more cold ones?

My Life is Different Now

Even than it was two years ago. It was good then but it is better now. Dan and I have a yard, a cat (who is sitting on my lap as I type this,) we see things a little bit more clearly. It makes me wonder what all I wanted in the first place. I'm thinking in these terms because something that I thought was long gone has presented itself. Not sure if I will pursue it... not sure that I won't. I need to think about it. But a yard, a cat and a clearer vision make all the difference.